An Extraordinary Life

So it's been 5 months that we've been home and there is really not alot to add from last month, things are about the same and they change daily! Mostly I am just very busy from 6:30am till about 8pm when the kids are ALL in bed sleeping soundly, then I veg out a while and maybe I'll get at least one thing done. It has been really hard to adjust to a family with 3 active kids and try and keep on top of all the activities, schoolwork, carpooling details and housework so I'm learning to let things go a bit. None of us are perfect.

I think I am making a turning point in my relationships with our kids, at least I am trying to improve our relationship. I also now understand when other adoptive parents who talk about how lucky they are to have their adopted child in their life. Sure Nicholas has a great life with us, but he has changed us forever and we continually learn about love. I feel so lucky he is with us and teaching us so much and I'm beginning to appreciate what an extraordinary life I am leading.

I'll leave you with this picture I took as Nicholas and I were walking through the UCLA campus on Valentine's Day:


It's all about LOVE my friends!!

A Visit to the Airport

No, we weren't planning to take a trip. A friend and I planned a special outing for our sons to visit the local airport. A friend of mine who is a pilot and used to work at the airport took us on a tour of the airport where the private and charter planes are housed. This was exciting because Nicholas likes anything that flies and would love to ride in an airplane again. I joke that the only reason he left Kazakhstan with us is so he could fly on an airplane!

Claire's tonsillectomy

Back in November Claire had surgery to remove her tonsils and adenoids. Her snoring became so bad I felt it was affecting her sleep. I was really nervous for our child to have anesthesia and surgery but I knew it would be beneficial to her health. The first couple of days were rough but she is a real trooper and bounced back really quick. She started eating soft foods about a day or 2 after the surgery. The surgeon said the tonsils and adenoids were really big. Her voice changed and has never been the same as before, her voice is a bit higher pitched and she doesn't sound nasally anymore. Right after surgery, I notice how quietly she slept, it was amazing. She has also been eating alot more and not complaining as much about her food. It must have been hard for her to swallow some things. I only had my old phone with me and took a couple of these post op pictures.

I'm glad I finally talked my hubby into staying home that day because she needed my constant care and Nicholas was still very demanding at that point. It was nice to give Claire my attention and baby her a little.

Some Firsts for Nicholas...

First hotel stay.

First family car trip.

First birthday party for his buddy, L, at My Gym. He LOVED it, it was a great place to bounce, jump, climb, run, catch bubbles, etc.

First day of preschool.

4 months update

Wow, I can't believe we have been a family of 5 for 4 months now and it's time for another update ( I will post pictures in a different post, after all, that's really why you check my blog, right???). The time has gone by fast. We are all doing well. Nicholas is very happy and has been really growing. He is now about a size 4, up from about a size 2 when we first met him. He looks so much healthier in relation to his age. He started preschool last week and will attend from 9am to 1pm Monday through Friday. He really likes his teacher and he had fun as they have things he enjoys during free play. He is also learning to follow direction and rules and how to play with other children.

Yesterday afternoon, after the girls finished their homework, Nicholas wanted to work on a perler bead project. This is an activity that really helps with fine motor skills, something he needs to improve. He kept asking for help over and over and since I was helping Olivia with her homework, I told him Claire could help. He didn't want Claire's help, he kept asking for me over and over to help. I finally told him he needed to start it, do as much as he can and then I would help. Well, I was astonished that he continued to stay focused on this task and finished all by himself! I am so proud of him. Claire also did a perler bead project and I'm so proud she even did a nice pattern on the flower instead of just random colors. Olivia (with just a little help from mom) made a Panda out of polymer clay for her teacher's birthday. It turned out really cute and she really did most of the work on it.

I am reflecting back on the last 4 months and to be honest, there have been difficult moments. The beginning was rough as I compare Nicholas to an alien having been dropped into our planet. Can you imagine being almost 4 and being taken away from everything you know even if it wasn't that great there? The food in your new home is all different, the language is all different, the rules are all different and you don't understand anything. All you know is this nice Mama and Papa are taking you for a plane ride and you will be living with them. And they are not always nice because they don't let you eat apples all day and they tell you 'no' a lot. Will you have to go back to the babyhouse? Why are you going for a ride in the car? What is going to happen next?

Everything was so new to Nicholas and in the beginning there were a lot of tantrums, I mean kicking, biting, spitting tantrums that lasted for a long time and often. There was also a lot of turning on and off of lights, discovering the refrigerator, stove, faucets, and other appliances. We had to really babyproof our house again, putting dangerous things away, decluttering, finding ways to lock up cabinets. I really worried about day to day things during the beginning, like how was I going to take a shower and get ready, what about taking the girls to and from school, getting to the grocery store, etc. In the beginning, I locked the door to our master bedroom and closed the girls's doors as there was still a lot of things he could get in to and we also had to make sure our house doors were childproof. I ended up taking a shower and getting ready in the kids bathroom while I had Nicholas watch a Baby Einstein video for about 20 minutes.

Now, he understands more of what his boundaries are and I think it was important to work not only on bonding but on boundaries and what is expected. We also had to teach him toilet 'etiquette', turning on/off lights, water, etc. while building our bond and trust with him. I feel so lucky that we had so many friends help us out in the beginning with offers of help with the girls, meals, offers of getting groceries for us. This is what we needed the most, more than new toys or clothes for Nicholas. We needed help just so we could focus on Nicholas and really be there for him during this huge transition for him.

It's so amazing to think back to 4 months and look at Nicholas now, playing happily by himself, happily sometimes with Claire, playing with his buddy, having fun experiencing new things like Christmas, parties, trips with a stay in a hotel, etc. He is just so happy. He is also a very sweet and loving boy. A parent from his school told me he accidentally kicked a ball in her chest as she walked through the playground and he ran up to her and told her 'Are you okay? I'm so sorry!'. There are still challenges as the times when he is defiant and tells us 'no' just to say 'no' but we are working on that. Hubby and I have had to struggle with parenting, adjust our strategy and it has been stressful but we love each other and our kids and we strive to make it all work. I feel lucky and blessed to have such a wonderful family, kids who want to contribute to our family, kids who who are eager to learn and who are loving and a husband who is involved and supportive of all of us. I also feel we are blessed to have so many friends, church friends, family and even strangers supporting us through their prayers for us.

Helping in the kitchen

I was inspired by another adoptive family who had their son help make truffles. I remember having Olivia help me in the kitchen when she was really young and it's always fun to see them experience something new, get messy, and enjoy helping. So I've started having Nicholas help me more in the kitchen so he feels a part of our family and also to learn practical skills, stirring, pouring, cutting, etc. I hope this will help him with some of his fine motor skills. Here are some pictures and video of the kids helping to make truffles in December.

First week back at school

Whew, the first week back at school is over. It was also Nicholas' first week at preschool. The girls were anxious to go back to school to see their friends and Nicholas was so excited to go to school like the girls. It was really tough with a new schedule even though I had about 2 hours to myself. It was really nice to have a little time to myself, but that time goes so fast.

January 2

We are leaving Sacramento after celebrating the New Year Japanese-American style with my hubby's extended family. We had an awesome trip! Truthfully, I was anxious about how the trip would go and how Nicholas would be on his first trip. I'm so glad we chose to stay in a hotel, it was nice for us to be all together and be able to get away from a lot of new people (for Nicholas). I cannot even begin to tell you how good it feels to have such a great trip, this really bodes well for our future trips and adventures.

On our trip, Nicholas kept saying, "I so happy", "Mama so happy", I think he had a really good time. I could see he did get overstimulated and didn't know what to do with himself sometimes. He was happy most of the time and especially enjoyed swimming at the hotel pool. Today, we took him to the train museum and he really liked it, except he kept saying 'oh, the trains are broke', I don't think he fully understands the concept of a museum.

As we make our trek back home, I can't help but remember this time last year when we went to the Secretary of State's office to apostille all of our documents for our dossier. While Nicholas was in a babyhouse halfway around the world, we were finishing up our paperwork and thinking about our son to be. Incredible.

Christmas 2009

The day began with many squeals of delight as the kids discovered all the goodies Santa left for them, including a letter thanking them for the cookies and milk. The kids loved everything they received from friends, family and 'Santa'. Nicholas really got into the knack of opening presents and was impatient to take turns opening gifts. It was a busy day because I was trying to cook a nice Christmas meal, but the kids needed help with some of the new toys or games. The day ended in tears and tantrums though as everyone became tired and overstimulated from the excitement of it all. It was still a wonderful Christmas, one we will not forget!

Here Comes Santa Claus...

Wednesday evening I heard about a boys baseball team having a fundraiser in which we could have pictures taken with Santa Claus. I thought about taking Nicholas to the Santa in the mall, but I really wanted to get a picture with all the kids. So Wednesday evening after dinner we headed over to a local shopping center. We walk up and Nicholas is so excited he can hardly contain himself. When it's our turn, he runs up to Santa, while shouting, 'Santa' and literally jumps into his lap. I was about to bawl right there to see Nicholas so excited. Olivia and Claire, on the other hand, nonchalantly walk up to Santa Claus and we get pictures with Santa. Nicholas starts talking very excitedly to the surprised Santa and I hear words like helicopter, toys, cars from Nicholas.


It was a wonderful moment and afterward the kids bought hot chocolate and cookies.

More pictures of the apartment in Almaty

Pictures of the inside of the apartment. As we open the door, the bathroom is directly in front. To the right was the kitchen, eating nook and continuing past that was the bedroom where we slept. If we made a left from the entrance, there was an extra room which is where Nicholas slept and played. There was a TV which offered a wide variety of shows in Russian. Occasionally we came across American cartoons in English or the discovery channel.

Bathroom:
Extra room (a.k.a Nicholas' bedroom and playroom)
Our bedroom:
Kitchen:
Eating nook:
The apartment was comfortable enough. The kitchen was fairly equipped with a handful of pots and pans and utensils, plates, cups. There was a small but adequate refrigerator. There was a microwave, stove and oven. I wish we had brought more tupperware type containers. I ended up buying a set there and it was pricey. I never could figure out the oven, so I just cooked everything on the stove or in the microwave. There was no washer and dryer so one night I washed some things in the tub and we used a clothing line and clothespins (which I brought) to hang the clothes. We also used plastic hangers, these actually came in handy on all our trips as there wasn't enough in the hotel to hang everything and we used these to dry clothes, too. All the things I had read about the towels were true, they were a bit rough and worn. I don't remember the sheets as too uncomfortable despite everything I read about the sheets .

Our apartment was in a really great location near most everything. It was close to the Silkway mall, there was a small grocery store nearby and the Green Market was about a 20 minute walk. The walk to Panfilov park was about 20 minutes but it seemed longer when we had Nicholas with us. The Mamma Mia restaurant was around the corner from the apartment. It was also pretty close to TSUM otherwise called The Central Department Store which has a great selection of souvenirs on the very top floor.

Entering our apartment in Almaty

Notice the difference in the various height between steps? We saw that all over the city and forget being accessible to people with wheelchairs, etc. We were on the top floor, no elevator, I think it was the 4th or 5th floor.

Our Gotcha Day

So I'm a little behind in posting about our last trip to Kazakhstan. I guess I was reminiscing after Skyping with a friend of mine who is in Almaty in the process of adopting a little boy.

Our last flight from LAX on our way to Kazakhstan.

Getting dressed and ready to go:

Posing with Mommy and Maigul at Almaty Babyhouse 2:

Posing with our coordinator, Tatyana, and the Babyhouse Director/Doctor.

Happy to be leaving the baby house FOREVER!

I thought I would post a picture of these picture magnets I made for Nicholas, I think the most important ones were the ones showing emotion and pictures of everyone in our family. They helped a little with the language barrier. I brought these and a magnetic board to Kazakhstan to try to help him understand day to day activities.

Nutcracker 2009

Olivia was a Bon Bon again this year in the Nutcracker and so she was thankfully only in 1 cast (out of 2). Like last year, she had a lot of fun performing and being backstage. I took Nicholas to see the Young People Concert where they only show a few of the scenes and bus kids in from schools and he enjoyed watching it, especially the battle scene with the mice and soldiers. Later, I took a picture of him by the cannon as this was one of his favorite parts!

We got tickets for the last afternoon show and Nicholas did pretty well. He stayed interested throughout Act I, but was squirmy. Act II was harder as it's a bit slower for kids and we had to wait towards the end of Act II to see Olivia dance in the Mother Ginger scene.

Wow! 3 months have gone by so fast...

Nicholas is just such a different child than the child we met in the orphanage. He is still a very active, rambunctious boy, but sweeter and even more loving than when we first met him. He is developing very well in all areas but still needs work in socializing and in discipline.

We are so lucky that I have been able to stay home with him, I think that has been the best for him so he could get used to family life. Lately, he keeps asking to go to school, especially when I drop Claire off at daycare. In January, he will start going to preschool. I think we found a good fit for him, although it is not the Montessori school where I expected to send him and where the girls attended. This particular school has much smaller classes and the teacher for his class has been there for 13 years. The director adopted a 4 year old girl from Russia about 6 years ago, so they are familiar with language issues, etc.

This past summer when we met Nicholas, one thing that struck me was the way he hung his head down. Now, he holds his head up high. He is still a very active boy, but is able to focus on some activities, too, especially with his TRIO blocks. He is better at obeying his mom and dad and is really loving. Yesterday and today, he has been giving hugs. He was also telling me 'mama happy' and 'Nicholas happy'.

This summer we notice Nicholas was barely able to make a scribble with a crayon, and now he can draw bats, spiders, sun, sharks on our driveway with sidewalk chalk. He rides his tricycle like a maniac and I *think* Santa might be bringing him a bicycle for Christmas...he is going to love it!


I've asked the girls what they think about having a little brother and Claire says 'good', Olivia says 'good' with a little more hesitation. Claire and Nicholas fight a lot as siblings do, but I really think Claire loves having him as a brother, she asked that he start coming to church because they would be in the same Sunday School class. Olivia is like a little mommy to Nicholas, she rushes to him anytime he gets hurt. I think her hesitation has more to do with her just being older and wanting to have some privacy and space.

All in all, I think everything is going very well, I can't believe it has only been 3 months.

Decorating a gingerbread house:

Fun at our church's Christmas workshop:

First haircut, before picture, during and after: