So normally we travel by car several hours away to stay with extended family a few days for the Thanksgiving holiday. The girls love seeing their teenage girl cousins and we enjoy spending time with relatives and doing fun things with the girls. But the girls are used to this and they enjoy all our travels. Now, Nicholas is acclimating very well to our immediate family and to short outings, but we just don't know how he would do on a trip where everything will be different and his routine will be disrupted.
Dad wants to stay at relative's house for 1-2 nights and maybe another relative's house. I've thought about just the girls going with their dad (they are his family) but they don't want to go without me or Nicholas. So here are our options:
A. Forget about it, stay home
B. Go for one day, stay one night at relatives house and come back
C. Go for it, it will be good practice, just high tail it out of there if it is too stressful
Now, I don't know if this is an option, but I think staying in a hotel would be better as there are less things for Nicholas to 'get into'. And if things are stressful, we can take him back to the hotel, and do calming things, like swimming, watching favorite dvds, etc.
Oh and I should add he sleeps pretty well at home in his bed in his own room and we have his night time routine down well. We do still give him an herbal supplement to help him relax for bedtime though and I think he is a light sleeper. I can't even think how we would do sleeping arrangements...
So, I would love to hear some feedback from some other adoptive parents of older children. Please tell me what your experience is or what you think about this.
2 comments:
Hmm, home such a short time, I would say don't go this year. Can you be the hostess this year and have the family stay in a nearby hotel? I know, not the same, but still it is being with family.
I didn't take my oldest who was adopted as a baby out of her environment for a few months after coming home. She needed time to adjust and settle into a routine. I needed time to get to know her, figure out her triggers, and find ways to calm her. Being away from her comfort zone was hard. She still isn't very easy to deal with when we are out of town.
My 2nd child, adopted at the same age as her sister didn't neet to remain close to home. She settles into new routines with ease and loves the thrill of an adventure. She also functions on very little sleep and sleeps well at home unlike her big sister who needs lots and lots of sleep.
Happy November,
Shanna
mom to Tamar and Libby from Kaz
Not an adoptive mom yet but still mom to one sensitive child who requires routines and a home base, I am leaning towards keeping the tradition for your family and staying at a simple hotel. At night time if all of you in one hotel is too much, I'm thinking Robert and the girls can sleep over your family but you and Nicholas can retire to the quiet of the hotel for downtime and a quiet sleep experience. Nicholas has shown himself to enjoy the new experiences of apple picking, halloween, playdates, etc so perhaps seeing family will be a pleasant and positive experience, providing he and you can settle in to swim or relax away from the hubbub. Now of course perhaps I am not thinking clearly, like I said, not being an adoptive mom yet. Good luck with your decisions. Its all good ones at least!
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