I am still jetlagged as I woke up at 4am and couldn’t go back to sleep. I tossed and turned for over an hour and gave up. I decided to read and then I went for a walk around 6:45am. As we were getting ready to go down for breakfast, we realized our hotel room door would not lock! So as I went on to breakfast, my hubby called to the desk. Someone was sent up to help him move into a different room. I felt like it was an upgrade since it included more furniture, it has 2 chairs and 2 nightstands!
So this morning we headed off to the Babyhouse for a 10am visit with Roman. When we arrived, Maigul and Tatyana showed us to the music room where we have never been. Apparently there is another family supposed to meet in the play room. I looked around the room, it’s nicer than the play room where we usually spend our visits, however I noticed there were only ‘baby’ toys…no balls, no cars which Roman likes to play with. Maigul went to get Roman but he refused to go to the ‘new’ room and ran to the other room.
To be honest, today was a difficult day. I feel like we made such strides during our bonding period, but it’s like starting all over…like 2 steps forward, 1 step back. He loves the matchbox airplane set we got him, but he has already thrown a huge tantrum about wanting to take it outside and he was MAD he didn't get his way. We managed to get him outside with promise of some bubbles. Today he wasn’t interested much in playing ball with us like he was during our first trip, he was more interested in sneaking berries off a bush and playing in the Little Tikes playhouse. We only get such limited time with him, we really don’t know him enough. And it's so hard with the language barrier. He forgot all the English he learned when we were last here. I wonder what he will be like when we get him home. Will he be a lot different? How often will he have a tantrum? Will he be the happy guy we left after our 2 week bonding period?
6 comments:
Hello,
So glad to see you are back in Kaz safe and sound. I know it must be so difficult, feeling like you are starting over again with Roman. Think how hard all this is on you, can you imagine how hard this is on him? I can not even imagine. But, I know with alot of love and PATIENCE you will work through all the bumps in the rode and yes, I am sure when he comes home it will be a BIG adjustment for everyone involved.
Deep breathes and try not to focus too much on what it is going to be like and just live at the moment. I know easier said then done. I am not going to sugar coat it, it is going to be hard BUT, i think Roman is going to LOVE his new family and you are going to cherish him too. He seems like such a cutie.
I am thinking about you and sending lots of hugs and good thoughts,
Carolyn
I can't imagine what a struggle this is for you. You are exhausted from the trip and wanting to make the most out of your visits! Roman is so blessed to have you in his life and in a very short time it will be forever! Hang on and know that we are thinking and praying for your family of five!
I am praying that you get through these difficult transitions quickly. We are struggling with the language issues too. We are trying to learn some Kazakh but there is so much to communicate. Also, we have children that are going from being just one of the bunch to having special attention from parents, that probably makes them want to test and see what they can get by with. Also, the developmental level is much younger so we are seeing what is like the terrible 2's. Our thoughts are with you, Jacqueline
hi katherine - I just wanted to say hi and tell you I'm thinking of you. We used to say "keep your eye on the prize" with the whole dossier process and getting it finally done. I think now we can say "keep your eye on the prize" and feel that the prize is, in the end, a family. The good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful and the stressful. But in the end, people who will love you through the thick and thin. I think like in a marriage when you make a vow, for better or worse, it must be like that in adoption too. You can't change him and how it will be but perhaps you can start to see it differently too. I have no doubts there will be rough spots and bumps, but in the end, you have chosen him and he has chosen you. Love is often a verb, not a state of being. Just keep doing what you are doing -- playing, loving him and caring. Love as a verb. Act "as if" and eventually I have a feeling it will all be true on all of your behalfs. Even when I gave birth and perhaps it might have been the same for you, I was so exhausted, i didn't feel true love. Perhaps it was post partum too. Emma was colicky, all she did was scream and she was fussy constantly. But I nurtured her and eventually my heart opened up to love. But it took time. For some people, love happens immediately. But not all, and it's okay. This is an amazing milestone for you all. His world is about to be shaken up too. Be his rock and he will trust and love you forever.
Steph
Gosh, hang in there. Know how many of us are out here thinking of you and praying for your whole family. I will say that we have a bio son who is not much older than Roman, and he tests us every day! He pushes boundaries every chance he gets, and the fits he sometimes throws are amazing. But, as frustrating as it can be, we try to focus on the fact that this is how he learns about us as parents and as a family--and about himself--and I wouldn't change a thing about him even if I could! Roman will adjust once you get him home. The challenge is that he is old enough to understand that things will be changing radically for his world. I know that must be very frightening to him. He can probably sense the changes coming. He also probably doesn't trust that you all will be there for him forever, but he will given some time. We are all sending great thoughts and prayers for strength your way! --Kara
Katherine and Robert,
I just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you, and I have prayers for a smooth court process headed in your direction. I am sure this week has been a bit of a whirlwind and a blur at times, while remaining one of the most important weeks of your life at the same time. Things will get easier once you are home. Of course there will be adjustments and some hard times, but at least you will have time on your side and not be limited to 2 fast hours a day only. Roman is at an age where he is testing and discovering the trust and love between you all. It will take time and I am sure there will be many times you ask yourself "is this behavior because he is adopted and going through changes or is it because he is 3"? The day my boys turned 3 - it was a whole different ball game. It made the 'terrible twos' a piece of cake.
Good luck with court, we can't wait to hear you are a family of five!
Julie
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