Friday, July 3rd

Today, we had our last day of bonding with Roman, and it was a sad grey day. It’s hard to think about leaving him and I worry how he will be, I hope the time passes quickly for him. Today was a really great day for us. During the time we have spending with him, we have learned a lot about his life here. One of the things we learned is his strict schedule, which includes even toilet habits. During the bonding period, he has had a couple of accidents, partly due to our inability to understand him when our translator steps away. We also learned that after the kids eat, the caregivers make all the kids sit on pots about 15 minutes after each meal or snack. So Thursday, after we gave Roman a juice and a few cookies, we waited about 20 minutes, then we attempted to get his interest in going outside. Galina, our translator, had just stepped away, and we kept telling him ‘toileta’ and gesturing and cajoling. Thankfully Galina arrived as Roman was about to begin a full-fledged tantrum after seeing the bubbles. She gently reminded him of his accident just the day before and told him we were giving him the choice of going outside AFTER he goes to the toilet or staying in the room. Galina took him to the restroom and I stood just outside the door watching.

Well, today, we gave Roman a juice and a banana. Boy does he suck the juice down! He sucks it without stopping to take a breath really and just gulps it down. He always makes sure to get every last drop of it. Afterwards, he had to burp from drinking his juice so fast, I had to pat him on the back. Next he ate the banana, took a few huge bites, but I think he is beginning to understand when I tell him to take smaller bites. Then we played for a while in the play room. We took some pictures, at one point he came and sat in my lap on the floor without me calling him, it was touching to know that we have made some strides in connecting with our new son. About 20 minutes after he ate, we again asked him ‘Roman pee pee?’ ‘Roman toileta?’ and as I scrambled through my list of Russian Baby Talk found ‘pee-sat’ so then we asked ‘Roman pee-sat’ repeatedly and asked if he wanted to go outside. He finally jumped up and jabbering, headed for the door. I threw my shoes on and followed him. He was waiting by the restroom for me to turn the light on (it is outside the door about 6 feet from the floor). He did everything himself, so I waited and then came in to help him wash his hands. I was so proud of him! It felt like we made huge progress and I told him over and over ‘good job Roman’ and ‘mole ode yets Roman’. I thought ‘hallelujiah’, he understands us!

We went outside and headed to a playground, on the way there, he sees his friend from the other group and runs up and gives him a hug and a kiss. This is the dearest thing to see especially since they tell us he doesn’t have special friends in his group. We have learned from Roman that this child’s name is Iboule, I’m not sure how it’s spelled. We can clearly see he has had a cleft palate repair and has some other issues. We see Roman try to push this child when the this child tries to grab one of the balls so we scold Roman and then he gives this child the other ball.
At one point, I bring out the bubbles and am overwhelmed with Roman, Iboule and a girl that is in Iboule’s group as they start to grab the bubbles from me and yell ‘mine’ in Russian and try to grab the wand. But when I blow the bubbles, I see the joy in their faces from seeing all the bubbles floating away in the wind.
When it was time to leave, Galina helped us to explain to Roman in simple terms we won’t be here. She told him we had to go back home to work so we can save money for a ticket for him. When he left, he gave us a kiss and I gave him a big hug and told him ‘Ya tebya lou blue’ (I love you). It is so hard to be torn between 2 places. I’ve miss the girls so much but now it is hard to leave Roman. During our time here, I’ve worried about the girls, are they healthy, are they being good, are they eating well, etc.

As we return to the U.S. I have a mix of emotions. I will be elated to touch down on American soil and enjoy the conveniences and privileges we have there. I’m looking forward to some of my favorite foods, my comfortable bed, our house, spending quality time with the girls. But at the same time, a piece of me is left behind here, I will worry about Roman, will he be angry, will he be hurt, will he eat his food. I wish we could take him home now. Time will pass quickly for us though as we get back into the swing of things and also prepare for Roman’s arrival to our house. We have lots to do at the house. Lots of babyproofing because although he is 3 ½, he is emotionally delayed from living in the orphanage. He will get into everything because it is all new. We will work on his new room and work on preparing the girls and ourselves for the newest member of our family.

Tonight we enjoyed eating dinner in the company of our neighbors who we have befriended, the single mom has only been visiting her baby girl a short time and they are waiting to hear when she and her mother can leave. We ate at the Guns & Roses pub attached to the hotel. We’ve eaten here a few times and some of the burgers and sandwiches we’ve had have been good. It was nice to have some camaraderie with some other Americans during this process.